A Big Day - A VERY Big Day!

Luis is 11 years old and he has never had a haircut, unless you count the time some kids in aftercare at school decided that he should have bangs.  Otherwise, he has the haircut God gave him.  His hair is very long; it hangs down just beyond his knees.  It's difficult for him to brush and wash.  He wets it every day in the shower and then pulls it back in a ponytail.  It hasn't been brushed in months, maybe four.  It feels like one big dreadlock from the crown of his head extending down about eight inches, like a beaver tail, a four inch wide mass of matted and twisted hair.  That's all about to change. 

He wants to get it cut.  It took three and a half hours to brush it out last night, a necessity unless he is going to shave his head, and he's not.  He's tired of "taking care" of it.  He spent Friday afternoon looking up hairstyles online and found the one he wants.  So I made an appointment for him.  Tomorrow is the big day. 

I've been grieving the loss of his hair.  My first boyfriend had long hair, his father had long hair, the musical Hair is one of my favorites.  I love long hair.  I love his long hair, God's haircut, it's beautiful.  I feel like it's part of who he is.  What if when the hair is gone, the Luis I know and love is gone, like Samson and his strength? 

I know, it's irrational.  I can't even allow myself to give the gift of his hair to Locks of Love.  It's his first haircut.  I want to save it.  It's special. 

I remember getting my first haircut at about age five.  My hair was long and my mom used to put it in finger curls, a lot of work for the mother of seven daughters.  I sat in that chair, watching my beautiful curls drop to the floor, and cried.  I hated my short hair.  I guess I fear he will hate his short hair and blame me. 

I know it will grow back, but he will never again be able to say "I've never had a haircut."